I get a sudden sense of doom when the internet isn’t working. Ok so that is a little exaggerated.
So much is depending on the internet in my life right now that when suddenly it wasn’t working yesterday for four hours ( eek!! ) it caused me anxiety. Yes maybe it is a little odd, could that be a sign of a mental illness or is it due to my dependence on something?
The internet is always going to crap, for a few months it was once a week! That was at a time where I didn’t depend on the internet as much as I do now.
I NEED to check my email at least once every couple hours, it has become my routine. I have mentioned in a previous post that I do get grumpy when my routine gets screwed up. Yes I know, maybe I am a nut case but who cares it is part of my personality.
I NEED to check Facebook to creep on my kids’ profile. I know, I know I admit I am one of those parents. But that the only way I can really see what is going on in their life. Whenever I ask them “Are you doing Ok? Or what is wrong, I can see on your face something is wrong?” Or I have to really dig, almost nag until they get so agitated that they finally tell me ( with a bit of frustration in their voice of course ). They tell me, oh its nothing or I am fine, I just don’t feel good. Then I see they tell everyone on their friends list what’s really wrong and I sit back feeling a bit heartbroken. I take it personally even though I shouldn’t Most older kids, teens and young adults really cannot completely trust their parents with details of their life. I am trying to come to terms with that and I keep in mind that I haven’t and still don’t tell my parents everything.
I NEED my WordPress fix at least once a day. I enjoy reading the deep, well thought out blog posts by the people I follow. So many of them I can relate to and helps me to sort through the obstacles in my life. Many of them make me laugh and make me teary eyed. Just like books, if something I read makes me feel something I keep reading. During the four hours of downed internet yesterday I grew anxious, wondering when it’ll be back on so I could get my fix. I do suffer from anxiety so I am sure that’s why all of the above was intensified.
I NEED my gaming fix. I play a couple games on my tablet that help me to give my brain a rest from constant thinking. I suppose it is my way of meditating, a way just to turn my brain off.
Photo from Wikipedia Commons. Royalty free image.
I NEED my information fix. I am a hardcore info junkie. When I watch House Hunters International I go on the internet to look up more about the country. I have a curiosity about how others live, what kind of laws they have, and what they do with their days. People in general interest me, I am always asking questions because of the curiosity. It isn’t being nosy, it is a genuine interest about people. I have even looked up how nuns live, and recently the new Pope. I JUST HAD TO KNOW! Recently I watched a movie about Marie Attoinette, I just had to look up more about her too. It is an itch I need to scratch, without the internet it would be more difficult to itch that scratch.
Maybe it isn’t so much an addiction as it is a strong dependence with the internet. Ok addiction and strongly dependent sound almost to be the same thing just worded different. But maybe there is a few differences like I can leave the house and not even think about the internet. If I was a full blown internet addict I am pretty sure I would be trying to find all the hot spots for WiFi.